So... if there's anyone out there looking to open up a used bookstore or anything of the sort (or... LITSOC: this might be useful for your Booksale XD) here's a link to a site that sells books in bulk

Sai still in search of work. Sai sleep. ::toddles off::

Christina is a fuzzball: I almost cried when I heard about how the seismic activity in the Tanon Strait has been messing up the dolphins. WTF. Ah well, this is last year's news. Chances are, they've been messing up the waters in that area since March. Igh.

Link: Environmental lawyers: Stop oil drilling in Visayan Sea

Buuuut! This was supposed to be an "update" entry. So ok.

Still looking for work. Now more interested in secretarial/buttmonkey clerical work in a law office. It's helped narrow down my options a lot, but I haven't had any takers so far.

I want to have a solid job prospect already. I want to go home to Bacolod to rest for a bit before starting work. I want a fridge. And a desk lamp. And a mattress. And a couple of bean bag chairs. And maybe a coffee table. And I want a place I can put all of that in. Please, Kabunian. I want to be able to afford a place.

Also, does anyone have any old college entrance test reviewers? I want to brush up on my book smarts, because I've forgotten almost everything even remotely-school-related.

Also, another link: Ask The Jester: taking up the UP LAE

Argh restless Christina getting zits because of PMS-y hormonal fluctuations. ::grumps::

So... I've always been a little obsessed with Saving the World From Ecological DestructionTM, but I haven't really found a way to put it into motion, outside of releasing a species-specific virus designed to create a zombie holocaust that would sufficiently decimate the human population to allow the planet to recover while still being able to sustain the survivors.

The decimation of the human race doesn't necessarily have to involve a zombie holocaust, but with all the zombie movies coming out, I figure, "why not?" it's technically more efficient than just a regular ol' pandemic.

( Reasons Why a Zombie Holocaust is a More Effective Way of Cutting Down The Human Race Without Necessarily Eliminating It )

I suppose that at first glance -because I seem so angry about Teh Korprit Wurld and frequently bitch and moan about the alienation of modern life- I could be construed as a Dark Green, one who believes that today's socio-economic systems are intrinsically corrupt and that radical social change is imperative. Hell, my obsession with zombie holocausts, if anything, illustrates my desire for rapid, sweeping, top-down revolutionary change. I'm not too big on chaining myself to a tree though. And I know that asking whether or not cultural influences affect a person's mindset or vice-versa is something of a chicken-and-egg issue, so I'ma just say that for all my violent tendencies, I'd really much prefer a more peaceful, personal, apolitical approach to espousing change.

A suggested methodology for that is Permaculture (included herein are suggestions for urban permaculture).

In choosing Law as a way to apprehend my desires though, I know that I am making it a political issue: I'll be traveling through the convoluted pathways of legislation. Ineffective as it may be though, there is still much to be said about how making an area a protected eco-zone can affect its environmental health (witness: Palawan and its booming ecotourism industry). I guess I do want to live my conservationist ambitions through and through: not just by living them (buying the right stuff, carrying around an extra cloth bag to avoid having to use a plastic bag, doing the permaculture thing when I FINALLY get my own damn place...), but by explicitly including them in my life's work.

After all, I still do want to change the way shit is being run here. What better way to do it than by subverting the system from the inside out?

I am Christina M. Sayson: semi-sentient, would-be legal zombie.

I know that I'm getting my metaphors mixed, but hell, I'm hungry, and I don't want to elaborate. ::nom!::

Update on my life?

- Today=Last Day of Work
- Still searching for new job
- Grandparents have agreed to sponsor Law education
- Above item does not mean that I am allowed to slack off: STILL SEARCHING FOR NEW JOB.

...schedule?

Ok. I have phone numbers, I have e-mail addresses. I will poke tomorrow, and -barring unexpected events- rest on Wednesday, then resume my search on Thursday and Friday, rest for the weekend, lather, rinse, and repeat for the next week.

Also, I'd like to express my frustration viz hormonal fluctuations: one minute, I'm having an anxiety attack, the next I'm ready to chew someone's head off. WTF.

Linkses for food tiem!
Eat this, not that!

How to eat to keep energy levels up all day

Eat here, not there!

Diet for six pack abs

Yes, the skinny little hungry girl is poking through a Men's Health site on diets. For POWER DIET!!! With POWER FOOD!!! So that it'll feel like you were taking POWER THIRST on IV!!!

...tummy says krok krok. XD

Fact: I'm leaving Probe in a few days.

Fact: My family wants me to go to America to take care of my sick grandparents. They aren't ASKING me to per se: true to form, they're suggesting that it would be a good way to spend my free time, now that I'm soon-to-be-unemployed while reminding me of how much they need someone to watch out for the grandparents, thus trapping me in a guilt-net which, because of my strong sense of family duty (and because I genuinely love my grandparents) I am disinclined to disentangle myself from.

Fact: I was planning on going to law school. Then my parents said: we can't afford to support you through that unless you come home and take up law in La Salle.

Fact: Corollary to the above fact, I am now therefore in search, not of Purpose or some Higher Meaning, but of MONEY. So I can save up for that.

Fact: While it may be lucrative there, I have no intention of STAYING in the States for longer than 6 months, at the VERY VERY MOST. I want to find my fortune here.

Fact: I was banking on getting an internship to keep me from freaking out while I was waiting for companies to give me their return calls, etc.

Fact: I didn't apply to that many companies in the first place. My bad. Beside the point though, because I'm working on remedying that.

Fact: I got an interview for said internship.

Fact: During said interview, several phone calls were made, and after said phone calls, they said, "we don't need interns right now, but thanks for coming all this way... SUCKER! NYA NYA BOO BOO *belat!*"

Fact: This all could have been done without having to drag ME all the way out THERE. Really.

Fact: I am, once again, without an out. I was banking on the internship to keep me from having to worry too much about the America thing, but now I'm back to OMG WTF I HAVE NO JOB AND NO APT, and therefore have little or no excuse. They've kept quiet on that front thus far, but the guilt has been gnawing at me. Like a gnawing thing. A gnawing thing going "ngar."

Conclusion: I DON'T KNOW OMG.



ETA:
------on happier news: here's a test result!

Your result for The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test...

Tigger

Take The Deep and Meaningful Winnie-The-Pooh Character Test at HelloQuizzy

...I suppose I am arrogant in that Tiggerly way, but as far as the positivity and enthusiasm are concerned: lately I've been doubting that. I suppose the excuse I can shovel up for that is that I don't really feel like I have much to be particularly excited/positive/enthusiastic about. That being said, I know I'm DEAD WRONG, because hell, I'm in the flower of my youth, and I'm on the brink of a new adventure right now.

...hrm. I suppose that's one way of looking at this little situation of mine. ::mischief(tm) grin:: I don't know what KIND of adventure it is, particularly, but once I DO know, I'm sure it'll be interesting either way. XD

Going Deeper
by Rex Weyler
from Greenpeace website
( Deep Ecology )



( My Response )



In other news:

George Carlin passed away.

Damn... the guy was one of my favorite comedians. T_T He came off as a whimsical sort of Angry Lolo figure for me: the kind who rants about rising gas prices and how much better the Good Old Days were, while wearing a goofy hat and smoking a bubble-pipe.

RIP, George Carlin. :(

The Marvel Mangaverse. Reading about it makes my brain bleed, so now I want to read the real thing.

To support my case, I present to you, a wikipedia quote:
"The Punisher fights against the Korean Skang Kee crime family, led by Skang Kee Ho"
...also. The Punisher is apparently a woman who dresses like a geisha. And Tony Stark has a sister named Toni. Sabaw to da max, mehn.

Also, I want to read up more on the Marvel character, Echo. Because she cool. And I've been looking at Elektra and The Hand and stuff, and I must say, mystical ninjas with names like Stick and Shaft just don't quite conjure up completely heterosexual images for me. While they may contain special amounts of awesome, it's difficult to avoid making gay porn jokes when you're a MYSTICAL NINJA NAMED STICK. WHO LEADS A GROUP CALLED THE CHASTE. AND FIGHT A GROUP CALLED THE HAND.

Just saying.

...noonienoo...

::has obviously been poring through Wiki's Marvel articles::

Also... HULK SMASH!!!!!! ::geek squee::

Say what you might about how the first Hulk movie carries references to X old films and theories and is a successful and groundbreaking marriage of the real and imaginal fraught with subversion, but it was a bit... overblown for my tastes -Academic though I might tend to be.

This new one though? Not so much academic wankery or theoretical gobbledygook (although if we look into it, there's quite a bit to be said about postcolonialism there. Maybe I'll write about THAT some other time, but for now, revisiting an area of conjecture that I haven't seriously touched since 2006 is just way too much effort), but sufficiently AWESOMEGASM-inducing as to place it side by side with Iron Man.

Keep it up, Marvel Studios! ::vibrates in anticipation of Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, and the Avengers movie:: Keeee!

1. First Name: Christina. Most people in Manila call me Sai, my classmates in Bacolod call me Chris, my family calls me Ina. Anyone else can call me "O Great and Almighty Queen"

2. Age: 21 going on 16. For the most part though... 21.

3. Location: Current? Quezon City, Probe Productions office. Still living in Casa Marci (because I R gigantor lo0zar) in Makati.

4. Occupation: Production Assistant soon-to-be-unemployed

5. Partner: Patrick Badong. XD

6. Kids: None yet, but when the time comes (in leik... 20 years or something) I want a whole passel of 'em. Three at the very least; ten, if it would still be physically/financially possible for me by that time. Although I am aware that in an overcrowded world, spawning so much offspring would be irresponsible, so mebbe about 2 biological, and a bunch of adopted kids. If not, am sticking with two and surrounding them with cousins. Takes a village and all that rot.

7. Brothers/Sisters: Brother = Jose Enrique, recently turned 20, currently pursuing Physical Therapy in Siliman University. Sister = Hannah Therese, 17, currently pursuing Pre-Vet Med B.S. Biology in Siliman University.

8. Pets: Cat = Dobbie, who is in Bacolod with her first litter of kittens. Want my kitty, no can has house to put kitty in. Must make buttloads of money so can has house for self and kitty and activities that require privacy. Dog = Misti. She's dead. T_T

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
- OMG I ESSENTIALLY QUIT MY JOB WTF
- Rediscovering my ambition/fretting about future because I am SO FUCKING TIRED OF MY BORDERLINE POVERTY AND MY MOOCHING. It's just not right anymore.
-----> corollary to that: Battling the Unemployment Inertia: If I can't find a job, goddammit, I'll very well MAKE one.
- Enjoying relationship
- Family dorama

Well Christina, you said you wanted your life to be more interesting.

There are actual stakes now.



detour/unrelated?
- RAKET. Recording gigs, FOH/ASM/tech/pang-extra sa play o video shoot, writing gigs, teaching gigs, pagbebenta ng pagkain, job openings, if you know of any, let me know. KTHNXBAI

Okay. I know what I want. I want power. I want to be queen of my own domain, and I want to be able to say "I want something," and get it. I want to act, and SEE that my actions have changed things. Then, I want peace: a house by the beach, some rugrats, and a garden. It is highly preferable that all be sustainable and environmentally friendly. In fact, it is desirable that the power I yield and the actions I put in motion all move towards a positive change in the world's destructive and increasingly mechanistic outlook. I do not want to be a part of a system that makes a person feel like she is nothing more than a gear or that her life has little or no immediacy. I want to live in a world that isn't so alienating and alienated, and I want to make that world this one.

On the other hand, knowing what I want doesn't quite mean that I know how to GET what I want. I'm not sure when the precise date will be, but by the end of this month, I'll be out of a job again. Dammit, I'm back where I was four months ago. Deadline's closing in. O_O

Law school?

I need a solid goal: a foe I can fight. (Alright, I sort of have a Nemesis. Just no solid way to battle it.) I need something I can dunk my head in, before I start retreating into my private Hell again. I need it quick.

...Where does the line between practicality and compromising personal integrity begin?

Ack. ::thinking pose::

DnD'd today after... a WHILE. Shifted to 4th Ed: it's a lot more streamlined and balanced than 3.5, but I must say, if 3.5 does disappear completely into the mists, I'll miss it. 3.5 is just so delightfully rich; so many worlds have already been established there. Faerun, for example, and Dragonlance, Eberron, and Grayhawk, are all 3.5 Ed-based worlds. I can't say if these worlds will make it if a complete commercial transition to 4th Ed occurs, but if they don't, well... that's a lot of highly marketable universes and storylines put to pasture. R.A. Salvatore alone, while not exactly the best writer out there, has created an enormous fanbase around a single character from the Faerunian universe. And that's just one guy.

...but yeah, Sai rambling. DnD rah. Sleepynow.

DI: Dreamy Idealist
The dreamy idealist is very cautious and therefore often appears shy and reserved to others. He shares his rich emotional life and his passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge him to be cool and reserved. He has a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which he is willing to sacrifice a great deal. Johanna von Orleans or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. He is always at great pains to improve the world. He can be very considerate towards others and does a lot to support them and stand up for them. He is interested in his fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once his enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, he can become a tireless fighter.

For the dreamy idealist, practical things are not really so important. He only busies himself with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. He tends to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that he often has a very successful academic career. He is less interested in details; he prefers to look at something as a whole. This means that he still has a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that he overlooks something important. As he is very peace-loving, he tends not to openly show his dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of his strong points; he hates conflicts and competition. He prefers to motivate others with his amicable and enthusiastic nature (personal note: smile at whatever annoys her and hope it goes away). Whoever has him as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.

As at work, the dreamy idealist is a helpful and loyal friend and partner, a person of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to him. The feelings of other are important to him and he loves making other people happy. He is satisfied with just a small circle of friends; his need for social contact is not very marked as he also needs a lot of time to himself. Superfluous small talk is not his thing. If one wishes to be friends with him or have a relationship with him, one would have to share his world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to his high demands on himself and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. The dreamy idealist does not fall in love head over heels but when he does fall in love he wants his to be a great, eternal love.


...You won't find me "preachin' God to the fuzzy wuzzies" though.

Dammit. I apparently really can't verify my PayPal account unless I have a credit card. I don't want a credit card. Credit cards are ew and are full of hidden fees. Dammit. Internet earning prospects narrowed significantly.

Links again!
How to become a book critic
101 ideas to get more freelance work
Allfreelance.com
Rewrite articles gig
How to live green gig
Skilled creative writer needed

Sai. Is. BORED.

My contract here ends late June/early July. I'm on the lookout for another job; something that will make me actually WORK. I'm tired of feeling useless.

If anyone out there knows of any (NOT BPO!!!) job openings/rakets, por favor, let me know. Also, acting gigs/performance stuff/auditions are also good. Got to get out of rut. Nao plz.

I intend to go back home to Bacolod after my contract ends (to like... rest and stuff and hang out with the family), but I do want a return guarantee/prospect. Besides, it's embarrassing to be going back there with my tail between my legs and no big payoff to show for it.

I'm fucking DOING stuff, dammit. I'm done feeling like a victim of fate.

Links portion!
CHRISTINA, YOU HAVE ACCOUNTS HERE! DON'T FORGET TO TAKE CARE OF THEM SO YOU CAN GET GIGS AND MAKE MONEY! MONEY GOOD!!! (also, you'd better fix your profiles so that they won't look like some random troll-person/robot-thing)
Guru.com
Helium.com

Also, here's another link. For funsies:
From bad to verse: vandals and poetic justice. A news article on a bunch of kids who trashed Robert Frost's house.

ETA
Welp, I told my boss that I didn't want my contract renewed, and she was like, "Eeeyeah... (insert information that I probably shouldn't be talking about online here), so it's no big deal. ::smilesmile::"

So. Crunchtime again. I'm not going to waste it like I did last time. I'ma get me a big Korprit gig with a pretty paycheck, live in a hovel/boarding house, save up for Masterals, and then yay I live college dream of being a Poor Professor. And as a penniless member of the teaching community, I shall have the time to pursue my other interests as well: such as theater, which I have seemingly tossed by the wayside. And as a NON-student, I will can has talent fee tiem YAY and Christina is counting her baby dragons before they've hatched. O_O

Your results:
You are Dark Phoenix

Dark Phoenix 81% Mystique 79% Poison Ivy 69% The Joker 64% Dr. Doom 64% Juggernaut 59% Venom 57% Apocalypse 56% Magneto 54% Lex Luthor 51% Green Goblin 47% Catwoman 45% Riddler 43% Mr. Freeze 40% Kingpin 40% Two-Face 31%

A prime example of emotional extremes: Passion and fury incarnate.

Click here to take the "Which Super Villain are you?" quiz...


Hrm. Seems about right... There's fury there. Lots of it. It's just all locked up somewhere. Remember the beast. She ent teh Crazies, but she could be a trigger if she wanted to be.

Thankfully, while truly, my cup runneth over with Crazies, I don't have the awesome godlike telekinetic/telepathic powers Ms. Grey has. So... yeh. My Crazies won't end the world, and that makes me better than her already. Less cool but better. Stupid Phoenix and her endless resurrections (e kaya nga PHOENIX dava? Ano ba?!) and her making already confusing X-Men storyline(s) even more confusing...

Monkeys control robotic arm with BRAINS

Lulz, it's like a bad sci fi movie about animals going gonzo. XD

Also, apparently, a genetic flaw has helped homo sapiens become sapient

/randomz

EW MOMENT!
New word for the day:
Blumpkin - To fellate an individual while he defecates.

Why did I feel the need to tell you guys this? Because... because it's just so gross, it needs to be passed around so that the effect might dissipate.

As in at work, I literally just had to say "EW!" out loud. And I usually don't talk in the office. At all. Got it from this blog. Yes, Christina was randomly poking through the interwebs again. Also, it was funny, so there.

Also, pictures of puppies!!!

Need. Living quarters. Without... Fleas! Checked out this one place, it was a bit pricey, but the room was actually ROOM-sized, but lo and behold, what do I find but small, jumping insects that feast on human blood? Needless to say, I did not return.

I still need a place to live. I've widened my scope to the Anonas area as well. There's a little commuting involved, but it's not as bad as Makati-QC. O_O

Also, Packrat ate my soul. I'm now level 9. -_- ::flails::

Listening to old songs on 104.3. Dugooooo...

But there's a dreamy sort of charm to them. I like old songs.

Realizations:
- Facebook's Packrat eats your soul.
- Children are fragile.
- Yoga is good for keeping sanity intact.
- My job bores me.
- The commute is numbing me.
- I am becoming withdrawn, snappish, and less tolerant of/less able to know how to deal with people.

Since coming back from Bacolod (and probably even before that), things have been feeling off-kilter. I realize that perhaps it's because I'm changing. Something very basic in my outlook is shifting, and everything else about me dislikes it, and I -the conscious I- am inclined to agree. I'm starting to adopt a cold, heartless, dog-eat-dog outlook that is in stark contrast to the happy, hippy-dippy granola earth-mother ideals that form such a fundamental part of who I am. What has changed?
- I commute daily. Staring into the dead eyes of fellow commuters and shielding self from the stink of stress and hostility on a daily basis can make a person a little crazy.
- I have a job where I don't do much of anything, and I can't quite relate with any of my workplace peers.
- the only person I've been interacting regularly with is my boyfriend. He hasn't poisoned my mind or anything, but because my world has essentially narrowed, my perspective has become quite skewed so that the tiniest psychological trifle feels like a major crisis. Gladly though, I've tried to open up to the Marcis more again. For sanity and courtesy's sake. Need... people before I turn into crazy cat lady-type. ...without the cats.
- I have family, but they're far away, and I need to watch out for number one, because even though I have a lot of safety nets, I'm still planning and saving up for a future that I'm not even entirely sure of in the first place. (It's a compulsive nervous habit)
- I'm not teaching, I'm not studying, I'm not reading, I'm not really learning anything. (Technically I am, because "everyday is a learning experience," etc., but... you know what I mean.) I'm going through an intellectual dry spell.

...verdict? I'm isolated, bored, and the commute is making me really, REALLY tetchy. Compounded with everything, it's making me even more hypersensitive than I already am, which makes me paranoid, and it's all coming together to make me... different. And I don't like this Different me.

Solutions?
- Expand mind. Keep learning guitar and writing.
- Keep opening up to people around me, reconnect with old friends, make new friends. Don't be afraid to like people, dammit. Trust self.
- DO all the work required of me, and then spend the rest of the time doing productive stuff... like drawing or writing
- Keep up the yoga.
- Counterproductive as it may seem, considering my growing isolation, keep on searching for lodgings closer by, to minimize commute and feel less like an eternal transient.
- Raket? See if I can get students again.

Utopia

Island where all becomes clear.

Solid ground beneath your feet.

The only roads are those that offer access.

Bushes bend beneath the weight of proofs.

The Tree of Valid Supposition grows here
with branches disentangled since time immermorial.

The Tree of Understanding, dazzling staight and simple.
sprouts by the spring called Now I Get It.

The thicker the woods, the vaster the vista:
the Valley of Obviously.

If any doubts arise, the wind dispels them instantly.

Echoes stir unsummoned
and eagerly explain all the secrets of the worlds.

On the right a cave where Meaning lies.

On the left the Lake of Deep Conviction.
Truth breaks from the bottom and bobs to the surface.

Unshakable Confidence towers over the valley.
Its peak offers an excellent view of the Essence of Things.

For all its charms, the island is uninhabited,
and the faint footprints scattered on its beaches
turn without exception to the sea.

As if all you can do here is leave
and plunge, never to return, into the depths.

Into unfathomable life.

-Wislawa Szymborska
...taken from an online "anthology"

( Syzmborska's 'On the Joy of Writing' under the cut )

On the less... prosaic side, I saw Speed Racer last night. I actually got a bit of motion sickness from all the colors. It's like someone poked out my eyeballs with a peyote twig and then barfed fresh candy into the eye sockets. O_O I swear, it was like I was stoned out of my mind. ...Except without the munchies, the cottonmouth, and the muffled, 360 tactile sense of being inside a warm vat of Willy Wonka's finest. Also, it wasn't as funny. Being stoned is funnier. Hell, the word "bunny" is funny as all get out when you're cheesed. Disclaimer: I am not endorsing or recommending that anyone partake of the Rasta Herb. Maybe for medical or... sacramental purposes, but not for recreation. It's illegal and can cause brain damage. No srsly: slurred speech, slow reaction time, impaired hand-eye coordination, lung disease, etc. etc. you-go-and-google-the-side-effects-yourself. And the morning-after headache=T_T